I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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