***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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