I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
