it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
