Can Purell be used as lube?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
