So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Don't make out with my wife yet
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
