So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
