her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
