lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
we're so committed to being not committed
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize