I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize