I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
