id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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