True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
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