so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Randomize