I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I need a burrito and a hug.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
