I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
