i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
