I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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