ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
