before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
