you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
