I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
