i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
