I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
