yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Come share oat with me in your robe
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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