My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
