You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I deserve to be covered in dicks
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
