I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
pray to the hookup gods
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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