Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I wear drunk well.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
