He is an equal opportunity slut.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
