I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
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