is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
