Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
