They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
