I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
