if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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