I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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