Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
