So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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