just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize