you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
