the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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