Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Randomize
