It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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