I never want to see another naked old woman again.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
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