please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
