i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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