This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
