I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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