Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize