sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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