I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
