I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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