Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
