I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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