do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
