I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
