I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I am naked and annoyed.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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