Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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