How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
