In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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