Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
