My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize