Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
