before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
