I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
