the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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