M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
