I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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