best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
