pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
