i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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