I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize