Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
